


Mend My Wary Heart

by Chisa



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hola Mama by Genelpan, M/M, Omega Verse, Post Naxzela, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-19
Updated: 2019-08-19
Packaged: 2020-09-07 21:16:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20316139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chisa/pseuds/Chisa
Summary: Keith tried to save everyone in Naxzela battle, and almost died.Now all Paladins get to hear about it, including his Alpha boyfriend Lance.





	Mend My Wary Heart

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Genelpan](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Genelpan).

> This story is based on Genelpan's incredible Omegaverse comic on Instagram @aboklanceholamama.  
It makes me feel stuff. 😭

Everybody was standing close to me like there was no more space in that room. Only Regris was farther away, leaning against the wall, watching the scene looking as if he couldn't care less and was just a little bored. I knew that wasn't the case.

Others, Shiro, Hunk, Pidge, Coran, and Matt, were all been talking to me the whole time, but I hadn't been able to listen to any of it. All I heard was a murmuring sound all over me. Even though I couldn't register the meaning, I still heard the questioning and disbelieving tone the words were made of.

I would have wanted to run out of the room, but my body felt paralyzed, still not over the aftershock the reality had made me go through. I could only wait for someone to arrive, the only person who could snap me out of this nightmare.

"Kitten?"  
His voice traveled to my ears through the heavy atmosphere, which was trying to not fall apart. It made me be able to finally raise my head a little.

He was there, and he was alive. So was I. That had to be a miracle.

I didn't care what others would think, and straight away kissed Lance on his lips; to make sure that this was all real, that nothing would threaten to take him and this moment away from me.

The kiss was short, but I didn't back away from Lance's touch when it ended. He hugged me back, confused and worried.  
"Woah, Kitten? What's wrong? Can you talk to me?"

I wanted to assure him that I was alright. Nothing else mattered than the fact that we were both again breathing the Castle-ship's air. Everything was alright when we were together like this.

I couldn't utter any words for an explanation.  
It was Regris who answered. He had been out there and seen it all.  
"He tried to fly into the battle cruiser's shield."

I felt how Lance's body tensed against mine. I instantly wanted to erase the mere idea of those harmful words that twisted themselves into his heart.  
I could feel pain in my chest too, just imagining what Lance must be feeling.

All the same, I didn't regret my actions.

Matt tried to explain the situation a little more, but in the end, he couldn't help but bring up the 'what if's.  
"... to destroy it so we could defuse the bomb. If Lotor hadn't shown up, he would've…"

Disbelief, worry, it was all still there, making my decision seem ignorant, like I hadn't taken my time to think it through.

"Then what was I supposed to do? Let everyone die?!"  
It came out harsher than I had meant to, but I couldn't control my voice.

That seemed to trigger something, to cut an invisible line that had kept everyone tiptoeing around me.

Pidge started to yell.  
"And you think we would be happy, being alive knowing you died for us?!"  
I could hear from her voice that she didn't understand, either. No one of them did.

"At least several solar systems wouldn't be wiped out!" I answered with the same force.  
"Keith! Pidge! Calm down!"  
Hunk's intention failed because his voice was as full of emotion and power than ours.

"Guys. At least he's safe now."  
Shiro's voice was the calmest. Somehow it felt like it lacked some depth. I couldn't tell what Shiro was thinking. Before I had been able to do that, just by looking at his face.

"Easy for you to say, Black Paladin."  
Regris was back at the debate, challenging the others because they hadn't been there, fighting with me.  
I was glad that the Galra had been there by my side, but in no way did I blame the other Paladins for getting stuck in a trap no one had been prepared for.  
"Regris! Not helping", Matt tried to hush him, and the argument had made a full circle.

The whole scene made me want to shut the world out for a while until I would be more capable of grasping on the edges of this chaos.

They were yelling at me, at each other, but because of what? I didn't get why they were so angry. All those lives I would have saved, didn't they think about that at all?

"Keith. Can you at least tell us, why did you do that?"  
Allura wasn't yelling, but she didn't need to.

Everyone stared at me, eager to hear my explanation, but I was at lost.

If it hadn't been me, wouldn't anyone else have tried to do the same thing? Did they really think it would have been a selfish thing to do, like a suicide?

No. It wasn't selfish.  
If someone shoots at your best friend and you jump on the way, it's not called suicide.

We were at war.  
For the world, to lose thousands of lives, multiple planets and ecosystems… lose Voltron and its five Paladins… My own life was worth nothing compared to that.

I startled when I felt a hand reaching for mine.  
Lance's touch brought me back to the real world a little bit. He watched me with a face full of sorrow.

Yes. Of course, it was selfish, too.  
Selfish to not being able to accept the possibility where I would have to continue my life without the others. Without Lance.

"Kitten. Please?"

For Lance, I would try to tell them how I felt.  
He didn't deserve to have to listen to this argument any longer.  
He didn't deserve any of this.

But if he needed some kind of security that I would not try to do that kind of stunt again, I wouldn't be able to promise it. 

"Just… I really thought that was the right thing to do… Ok?" I started a little wavering, "I just wanted to be useful…"  
Shit, I felt like crying, but I had to continue.  
"The thought of … none of you existing anymore made me… I'm so sorry…" 

Lance wrapped his arms comforting around me, like trying to hide me from the world that could sometimes get so merciless.  
"No no, don't say sorry…"

What?

"I-I know that was the right thing to do in war..? I don't know… It's hard to tell if it's good or bad…"  
Lance's voice was shaking, but with every word he made me feel forgiven.  
"It's in the gray area, you know? We could never know… I-I don't even know what to say about that."

So Lance did understand. That was the only thing I had needed to hear. 

"But… I do know that we don't want the universe where you don't exist too. I don't want it…"

When the tears finally started to pour down on my cheeks, I knew that Lance was crying with me. 

How did I manage to find someone this caring in my life, someone who could fill the void inside me? Who always exceeded my expectations?

One at a time, everyone else tried so hard to explain their feelings, what being together with this group and I meant to them, then joined the group hug.

We were all happier together, that was the truth.  
I loved them all, but Lance was what kept us together.

"You are my universe, you know? Your existence makes me a better person, makes me want to be a better person… So please… continue to exist. Because you are so important to us. And to me."

Lance mended my wary heart.


End file.
